Here we go again…

What in the hell is wrong with me?  Why am I so eager to cry, and my compassion has slowly been fading.  That is not ME.. That’s never been me.  I like to think of myself, as a very loving caring person, and yet as I try to continue to be that my patience doesn’t allow it.  The real me can’t get out of this hole, and try to just move on to the next level..

I think that much of it has to do with the facts being its just bringing me to my knees.  I don’t want this as a negative post, but right now, I am just not feeling happy.  I am thinking about ones that lost loved one, or in the process of doing so.  I HATE that the people I love and care about are going thru all of this.  I just wish that i could have a magic wand and release the energies.  UGH!!!

It’s been a pretty long time since i have been this low.  Something I have been so hard in trying to achieve.  I have the best, most loving supportive family, and I thought to myself as i started getting all these leaks leading up to RSD, come hell or high water, it’s going to happen, they ARE going to be a part of my painful life with me.  They all have been standing right beside me.  I would NEVER blame someone else for the way life happens, when you have NO CONTROL.   Some get hurt a little more than others.  It’s sad to me for every reason in the book!!!

I just you all to know, family, friends, that even tho I may seem a little upset, angry whatever the case my be, please don’t take it wrong or make it out to believe I am just out to hurt anyone.  I would NEVER do that intentionally.  I love each and every one of you, and, Please pay attention to those around you, and just let them know…. but know at the same time it feel to not just  be.  If you can just pay it forward 1 time a month you just make you feel better, along those around you.

sorry, This was a weighted one, but tonite as i sit here writing I have a VERY HEAVY heart.

Thank you listening to my rant…..:))

One thought on “Here we go again…

  1. ranton2011 says:

    You are tired and the events of life have sucked a lot out of you! We are all entitled to times where we feel let down and in need of just being pissed off. Its sucks but it happens. You will get your life not back but better, its a journey, not a destination. Everything happens for reasons that empower us in one way or another, but it sucks and sucks HARD that they always seem to be on the sucky side of the coin rather than the shiny side. I know that there is going to come a day when you will be able to sit back and be in total AWE of not only having survived this -but kicked its ass! Because you are an amazing woman. I will now cease pelting you with cliches (but as cliche as they are they are also TRUE!) Love ya Lady! And vent when you have to.

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