What in the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so eager to cry, and my compassion has slowly been fading. That is not ME.. That’s never been me. I like to think of myself, as a very loving caring person, and yet as I try to continue to be that my patience doesn’t allow it. The real me can’t get out of this hole, and try to just move on to the next level..
I think that much of it has to do with the facts being its just bringing me to my knees. I don’t want this as a negative post, but right now, I am just not feeling happy. I am thinking about ones that lost loved one, or in the process of doing so. I HATE that the people I love and care about are going thru all of this. I just wish that i could have a magic wand and release the energies. UGH!!!
It’s been a pretty long time since i have been this low. Something I have been so hard in trying to achieve. I have the best, most loving supportive family, and I thought to myself as i started getting all these leaks leading up to RSD, come hell or high water, it’s going to happen, they ARE going to be a part of my painful life with me. They all have been standing right beside me. I would NEVER blame someone else for the way life happens, when you have NO CONTROL. Some get hurt a little more than others. It’s sad to me for every reason in the book!!!
I just you all to know, family, friends, that even tho I may seem a little upset, angry whatever the case my be, please don’t take it wrong or make it out to believe I am just out to hurt anyone. I would NEVER do that intentionally. I love each and every one of you, and, Please pay attention to those around you, and just let them know…. but know at the same time it feel to not just be. If you can just pay it forward 1 time a month you just make you feel better, along those around you.
sorry, This was a weighted one, but tonite as i sit here writing I have a VERY HEAVY heart.
Thank you listening to my rant…..:))