2011 Coming to an End!!!

I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be SO GLAD to see a year end.  However this is one year I NEVER want to repeat itself.    There have been many tears shed, many happy ones as well.   It’s just been a rough year.  My Divorce, however that is something that completely renewed me.  I have felt blessed and refreshed because of this.  I truly look at myself and wonder, How in the hell did I EVER live that long, being sulky, sad, down more then up.  Furthermore, how did I ever live the way I did for all those years.  It was hard let me tell you.  Hard for so many reasons.. I won’t go into those but.. I’m just happy that it is over.  I am myself again, I love, cherish, adore, and just live again!!   LOVIN LIFE is what I am doing..


Then my dad had to have surgery to repair a rotator cuff, and muscle that had fallen as well.  That all went well until the next morning, when he was hit with a stroke.  I had felt like my world had been turned upside down and the thought of losing him was truly more then I could handle.  I had already lost my biological dad when I was 20.. I didn’t think that god was that cruel to take another father from us, let alone another husband from my mother.  Who by the way, is the most caring, loving, tender, sweet gal you would EVER want to meet.  Too bad I didn’t take more after her..LOL   So dad ended up getting flown to Peoria, and stayed there pretty close to 3 weeks.  He has recovered very well, and I am so proud to say he is doing Amazing.  Thank you mama for being right there beside dad through all of this.  You have been one tough cookie!!  He’s so lucky to have you, just as you are him!!!   Thank you thank you!!  ❤ ❤


Then next comes my grandma..87 years old and just one sweet lady.. with the mouth of a sailor.. HAHA  just kidding, but if she hangs around me much longer its exactly whats she gonna have… hehe.

She decided that she wasn’t going to eat and all that jazz, she didn’t want to and ended up sick.. in the hospital and got taken to Rockford and had surgery herself.  She came out of that as beautiful as she went in.  She is now recovering from all of this, along with rebulding her strength and all of that jazz in a rehab center for 2 weeks.  She is my baby as i call her, and I will of course be with her until my grandpa is ready for her in heaven!!  I told him however, she probably needs to wait another mmmm, 10 years…LOL   His spirit talks to me and tells me, that all will be ok.   For those that don’t believe in the spirit or the angels, I am truly sorry..It’s an amazing thing!!


On to Me, yep me…lol  I have been really struggling with my own crap this year on top of everything else that has gone on… My RSD has been as bad as it could possibly be for me this year.  I have had more ups then downs, however.  I try to hide so much.  I let myself get lost in this little cloud that I can do anything.  WRONG, I can’t but i keep on pushing along.  I have too, I have boys to keep up with, family that I need in my life, and so I just go on.  Sure there are days I can do nothing, but lay in my bed and cry, or bitch because i am hurting so bad.. and sometimes even a scream will come… I Hate those times!!!


Overall the year needs to just be done with, and I will be the 1st one to admit I can’t Wait for that HELL YEAR to be over with…


I truly believe that 2012 is going to be the most Wonderful year of all.  I am looking forward to starting fresh, enjoying the nice breezes that blow thru and just living my life peacefully.   I hope that all of you have and make the best of 2012.. It’s going to be the best one YET!!!



Please DON’T SAY….

Things NOT to Say to Someone with a Chronic Illness

10. You can’t be in that much pain

9. Stop being lazy and get a job. …

8. You just want attention.

7. Your illness is caused by stress.

6. No pain then no gain!

5. It’s all in your head.

4. If you just got out of the house!

3. You are so lucky to get to stay in bed all day!

2. Just pray harder.

1. But you LOOK so GOOD


If you have ever been in Chronic Pain there are a couple of things you NEVER want to say to someone that is on a daily basis.  First of all the HELL we go through everyday of our lives is something you probably will NEVER feel.   The burning, stabbing, bee-stinging, glass shards on the bottom of your feet, knife blade cutting thru you.. If you have never felt these things 24/7 then you have no idea where or what it feels like to walk in “OUR” shoes.   I wish i had the chance to be LAZY and lay in bed all day, and no have a job.. but in our world, laying in bed all day, is NOT what you think, many times it is laying in fetal posistion crying in pain, or begging someone to just shoot us.. Really, if you think that is being lazy…Then So be it!!!

If this shit was in my head, or because I am stressed out again.. not something we want to be, because it just adds to the pain we are already in and creates more.  Oh, MORE PAIN.. how can that possibly be?  Well, take a look around.. I see people in pain a lot of days, but will i go up to them and say oh jeez, you look so good… Yeah MAYBE if i am looking for a black eye, bloody nose, or Fat lip…


We have all of this to thank to a lovely condition that we get from, stubbing a toe, getting stitches, slamming our hand in the door, with a hammer, breaking an arm, leg, yes.. the slightest things can get you the same Lovely disease that i have.. COMPLEX REGIONAL PAIN SYNDROME!!!


Never heard of it?  Look it up, Google, Yahoo it, whatever you need to do.. DO IT.. EDUCATE YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS!!!!!  THE MORE WE EDUCATE PEOPLE THE MORE OUR DISEASE IS GOING TO BE KNOWN… DON’T just say stuff like this to someone that is suffering so bad, ask, learn and EDUCATE.. you will be doing all of us a favor…