I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be SO GLAD to see a year end. However this is one year I NEVER want to repeat itself. There have been many tears shed, many happy ones as well. It’s just been a rough year. My Divorce, however that is something that completely renewed me. I have felt blessed and refreshed because of this. I truly look at myself and wonder, How in the hell did I EVER live that long, being sulky, sad, down more then up. Furthermore, how did I ever live the way I did for all those years. It was hard let me tell you. Hard for so many reasons.. I won’t go into those but.. I’m just happy that it is over. I am myself again, I love, cherish, adore, and just live again!! LOVIN LIFE is what I am doing..
Then my dad had to have surgery to repair a rotator cuff, and muscle that had fallen as well. That all went well until the next morning, when he was hit with a stroke. I had felt like my world had been turned upside down and the thought of losing him was truly more then I could handle. I had already lost my biological dad when I was 20.. I didn’t think that god was that cruel to take another father from us, let alone another husband from my mother. Who by the way, is the most caring, loving, tender, sweet gal you would EVER want to meet. Too bad I didn’t take more after her..LOL So dad ended up getting flown to Peoria, and stayed there pretty close to 3 weeks. He has recovered very well, and I am so proud to say he is doing Amazing. Thank you mama for being right there beside dad through all of this. You have been one tough cookie!! He’s so lucky to have you, just as you are him!!! Thank you thank you!! ❤ ❤
Then next comes my grandma..87 years old and just one sweet lady.. with the mouth of a sailor.. HAHA just kidding, but if she hangs around me much longer its exactly whats she gonna have… hehe.
She decided that she wasn’t going to eat and all that jazz, she didn’t want to and ended up sick.. in the hospital and got taken to Rockford and had surgery herself. She came out of that as beautiful as she went in. She is now recovering from all of this, along with rebulding her strength and all of that jazz in a rehab center for 2 weeks. She is my baby as i call her, and I will of course be with her until my grandpa is ready for her in heaven!! I told him however, she probably needs to wait another mmmm, 10 years…LOL His spirit talks to me and tells me, that all will be ok. For those that don’t believe in the spirit or the angels, I am truly sorry..It’s an amazing thing!!
On to Me, yep me…lol I have been really struggling with my own crap this year on top of everything else that has gone on… My RSD has been as bad as it could possibly be for me this year. I have had more ups then downs, however. I try to hide so much. I let myself get lost in this little cloud that I can do anything. WRONG, I can’t but i keep on pushing along. I have too, I have boys to keep up with, family that I need in my life, and so I just go on. Sure there are days I can do nothing, but lay in my bed and cry, or bitch because i am hurting so bad.. and sometimes even a scream will come… I Hate those times!!!
Overall the year needs to just be done with, and I will be the 1st one to admit I can’t Wait for that HELL YEAR to be over with…
I truly believe that 2012 is going to be the most Wonderful year of all. I am looking forward to starting fresh, enjoying the nice breezes that blow thru and just living my life peacefully. I hope that all of you have and make the best of 2012.. It’s going to be the best one YET!!!